Via Ryan Peterman

“I was that person. I wanted to get the highest grades. I just wanted to get an A+ or 100%. And because of that, I was not accepting feedback as feedback to improve. I was accepting feedback as a grade to judge myself and put pressure on myself to get 100% next time. But I wasn’t putting pressure on myself to actually improve.

So my advice to people who are ambitious […] is to really reflect on feedback, on how you can improve and try to push your comfort zone there, instead of trying to look at it as a judgment or a grade.”

— Meta Senior Staff Eng (IC7) On Zuck Stories, Rapid Career Growth, Code Machine Archetype, at 1:24:57

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When asked what advice he would give to his younger self, Michael Novati, Senior Staff Engineer at Meta, did not focus on technical skills. Instead, he talked about a mindset shift he had to work through himself.

“I was very much seeking too much approval, like, pats-on-the-back approval.”

The approval-seeking trap:

• Focusing on getting 100% or an A+ rating, rather than understanding what needs to be learned.
• Feeling pressure to appear competent all the time, and being defensive as a result.
• Treating feedback as a pass/fail judgment on work that’s already been done, rather than insight to reflect on and apply going forward.

This pattern kept Novati from maximizing his learning potential early in his career. He was getting the feedback, but he was taking it as judgment rather than guidance for improvement.

A learning mindset:

• Instead of asking “Did I pass?” ask “What can I do differently next time?” Engaging seriously with feedback requires admitting something was wrong. It’s uncomfortable and requires humility, but is necessary for growth.
• Drop the defensiveness. When you see feedback as a path to improvement, you eliminate the emotional drag that would otherwise slow the learning process.

Bonus tip: Seek feedback from people with the taste and judgment you aspire to, not just people slightly ahead of you. A bootcamp instructor who graduated six months ahead of you doesn’t have the accumulated judgment of a senior engineer who’s worked on dozens of major projects.

This mindset shift is hardest for high achievers. You’ve been conditioned to earn recognition by getting things right. So, welcome the feedback. Getting things right in the long run requires recognizing and improving what’s wrong now.