Via Lenny’s Podcast

“To be specific, I’m talking about the voice in your head that is critical and repeats; the voice that says the same thing over and over again. “You gotta work out more, you got to work out more, you got to work out more.” That [voice] is always wrong. […] There is a truth to what it says but it’s incorrect.

[At 8:00] So as an example, I see the truth that I’d be healthier if I work out more; I get that, but is it really a should? What makes [the voice] not say, “Oh hey, why don’t you enjoy working out? How do we get you to enjoy working out? What would motivate you to work out?” [The critical voice] is not doing any of that [and what it’s saying] is never an accurate thing.

[And] until you can see through that, it’s hard to work with the voice in your head. […] What most people do is they try to stop it, they try to control the voice in the head and that doesn’t work very well. Instead, change the way that you relate to the negative voice in your head. […] The best way to work with the voice in the head is to pick an experiment every day and respond to the voice in the head in a new way every day, to have an experimental approach, and [ask], “Oh, what’s the relationship I want with this negative voice in my head?“

— How embracing your emotions will accelerate your career | Joe Hudson (Art of Accomplishment), at 7:11

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The repetitive, critical voice in your head—the one that says “you should work out more” or “you’re not good enough“—operates like an abusive boss sitting next to you, criticizing you every few minutes.

You would never tolerate this from an actual person, yet most people believe they need this voice to stay productive. The voice is more like a frightened five-year-old having a temper tantrum than a wise advisor. It’s not logical, thoughtful, or helpful—it’s abusive and fear-based.

Attempting to suppress or control the critical voice and negative emotion does not work.

Instead, Joe recommends adopting an experimental mindset where you try a different approach each day and learn from each attempt. This mindset bypasses the amygdala’s tendency to make you give up after perceived failures. There is no failure in experimentation; there is always something to learn.

The path to emotional fluidity involves four key elements:

• Welcome, don’t just tolerate: Move beyond non-judgmental awareness to actively welcoming difficult emotions
• Feel them physically: Emotions require bodily expression – mammals naturally shake to release fear, and humans need similar physical release
• Recognize emotional patterns in posture: Repressed anger shows in eyebrow creases, critical parenting in hunched shoulders – the body holds what we suppress
• Practice emotional inquiry: Explore emotions with childlike curiosity, examining what happens when you welcome versus resist them. (See podcast about Emotional Inquiry and try the Emotional Inquiry guided audio).

The counterintuitive truth is that avoiding emotions creates more of what we’re trying to escape. For example:

• Conflict-avoidant executives avoid confronting and resolving issues, and end up managing tense, argumentative organizations.
• People who feel but reject shame about their actions or inaction in a relationship become defensive, which leads to more shame-inducing conflicts.

When we stop resisting our “negative” emotions and instead welcome them fully, they move through us naturally – and genuine joy becomes possible. This isn’t about toxic positivity or emotional suppression; it’s about embracing our complete emotional humanity as the foundation for both authentic happiness and professional effectiveness.