Via TED

“And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don’t listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world? What I’d like to suggest: there are a number of habits that we need to move away from. I’ve assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking. I’m not pretending this is an exhaustive list, but these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.”

— How to Speak So That People Want to Listen, at 0:23

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Sound expert Julian Treasure argues that, before we can learn how to speak effectively, we must first unlearn the negative habits that make people tune out.

He identifies seven specific behaviors, which he calls the “seven deadly sins of speaking,” that undermine our message and credibility. “…these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.”

By consciously avoiding these conversational traps, we create a space where listeners feel safe, respected, and willing to engage with what we have to say.

• Gossiping: Speaking ill of someone who isn’t present erodes trust. Listeners know that if you gossip about others, you will likely gossip about them too.
• Judging: It’s difficult to listen to someone if you feel they are judging you and finding you wanting.
• Negativity: Constant pessimism is draining and makes it hard for others to listen.
• Complaining: Treasure calls this “viral misery.” It spreads negativity rather than “sunshine and lightness.”
• Excuses: No one wants to listen when you shift blame to others instead of taking responsibility for your actions.
• Exaggeration/Lying: Overstating facts demeans our language and ultimately destroys trust when it escalates into outright lying.
• Dogmatism: Confusing personal opinions with facts shuts down dialogue, as the speaker bombards the listener with their views as if they are absolute truths.

Being aware of these ‘seven deadly sins’ is the first step toward building a communication style that invites people in rather than pushing them away.